forgot about this

I can't even begin to fathom people actually reading this...me...so far up in the north, in the ice and snow.
I can't believe that only a few days ago I was kayaking on the ocean. That was great...conquered a big fear of going into the ocean due to a HUGE fear of being eaten by a shark! Or even nibbled on by a shark. I know there may not be a great deal of sharks in Puerto Vallarta but I have the fear even when swimming in a lake where you can't see the bottom (never said the fear was completely rational).
I did really well (pat on the back)...until I got cracked in the head by a kayak...yes it was my own...and then there were the manta rays. Yes....I thought they would eat me too. I was told they could swallow a man....true, the ones I saw were only a foot or two.
I was also told they couldn't jump out of the water..well when one jumped out in front of my kayak..I set a record for booting it into shore.
I also decided it would be a GREAT idea to go up into the jungle and repel down waterfalls and zipline over 450m drops.....I think I was the only one cheering for it all to end!!! BUT......I did it and did NOT chicken out! True I really couldn't chicken out, and I was desperately trying to figure a way to zip line UP...but I did it! Would I care to hang over a 450m drop and go whizzing down a clothesline at like a 100mph again...I would rather swim in the ocean!!
Well, that is it for now..off to sleep in my nice safe bed, where there are no sharks or manta rays or ziplines.
The only thing to fear is the heat kicking off.....great...mom just said the furnace is out :(

lately

Well, I would apologize for not posting, but I honestly have not even though about keeping this site updated. Just being honest.
I have a week of teaching under my belt. I have met with parents..so nervous, but no throwing up, (from myself or parents) so there's a plus.
I have managed to make a student cry....I wasn't even using my mean voice..but I got hugged after, so it's all good.
I teach a split grade 5/6 class. So students and hormones at the ages of 10-12 years old. ahhhhh!
I have been so stressed for planning and I was getting myself really sick. I kept asking myself WHY am I at the LAST school I ever imagined, have NO experience with those grades and it is 2 classes at the same time??????
Then yesterday I get told that my Grade 5's are going to be taught language and math bu another teacher so I can focus on the 6's!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOOOO!!! VERY HAPPY!! I feel that that DEFINITELY was the Lord's doing!
I also have met a friend at school and that is helping to make my time there an enjoyable one and I am truly thankful!!
I am hoping that this summer I can go on another missions trip and Lord willing I will be teaching out of the country soon..but all in the Lord's time....just wish He would let me in on the plays sometime ;)

You really have to wonder

It has been ages..I am wicked, I know.
Things seem to happen at an alarming rate when you leave something for a while and then return to it. I went home for Christmas and teaching placement. That went well enough..even have a teaching job (very thankful..and yet very afraid..I have to question their judgment in hiring me). I even got to have the love of my life and have him tell me that he accepted the Lord..and I had been waiting for that for so long.
So within a week of me receiving a job and thinking that life was going to be all set..WHAM! I am without the love of my life and lost a friend in the process. I can't even begin to describe where my head is at.
You would think, gee, being a Christian, this is easy..get right back up, praise the Lord and be on your merry way. NOPE!!
I mean I understand that the Lord is in charge of everything and allows things to happen..I am thankful for the time I had with my ex, exceedingly thankful for getting the chance to know and love his kids, and for getting a job.
But you seriously have to wonder..WHAT FOR?? It really doesn't help to hear, "These things will be revealed in time." I hurt NOW, so what about now???
To anyone who may stumble upon this blog site and is not a Christian, let this go to show you that a Christian life is not trouble free and I sure feel hurt and struggle with not understanding the reasoning of a given hurtful situation.
The only thing that really keeps me going is this..if I thought that I would be happier investing all my time in energy in a person/relationship..I am the fool. A person is only that..a person. If I make mistakes (and believe it or not..I SO DO!) then that other person makes mistakes and even has the ability to hurt you and let you down. Friends even come and go. The Lord brought me the desire of my heart, just turned out that sometimes you do get EXACTLY what you ask for, before finding out...I should have waited to see if the Lord wanted the same thing.
So again, you really have to wonder...before you get really upset with God...who is your own worst enemy? Maybe you are the one on self destruct.

getting wrapped up..and not like a present!

Well time has certainly passed by quickly since I last posted..shame on me :(
But so much has happened!! I passed my first 2 teachers exams..and I did rather well...guess that should show me that I am where God intends for me to be.
My prayers were also answered when my friend Jason came to know the Lord!!!! He is growing and I even found out that he has been sharing his faith with another guy that he deals with through work!
Funny how sometimes we can get so wrapped up in things that aren't happening according to how we expect them to be and we can miss out on all the other things that ARE happening?!
I read something that caught my attention, and I must admit that I am guilty of falling into this trap...
"Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another." 1Thessalonians 5:11
"We can inprove our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics. It is the greater person who does the right thing; Christ's righteousness dwells in you to help you do what is right. You are great in God's eyes when you choose to do right and bless others.
No matter how rough your day is today, speak words that uplift and encourage those around you . Encourage others if you notice them doing a good job-not jus tthose who work with you, but people wherever you go, such as store clerks, auto mechanics, and waiters. Say something like, "I appreciate the extra effort you are making to do your job well." You can change your life and someone else's by choosing to speak positive words."
Just something to think about. Hope everyone will have a great holiday and enjoy time with family and friends. Be safe and remember Jesus still IS and always will be the reason for the season! Merry Christmas!!

That was ridiculous!!

Oh man....you ever walk out of a test and think...hmmm, is it possible that I missed EVERY class ever??? Or is it humanly possible to have so many heart attacks in a row? I know you are supposed to be silent in a test, but screaming repeatedly, throwing yourself on the floor and crying, doesn't exactly qualify for talking right?
After 8 hours of testing, the ride home consisted of me staring blankly into space, asking..."What just happened??"
And you know, the old me would start to worry and think, "Oh man, what if I failed" but like I said, that was the old me.
Aside from the fact that I feel completely drained, I feel at peace. These were the BIGGEST test I have ever had to complete, but I think finally understand that we just have to give up certain things that we have NO control over. Trust me, I am not one to easily let things go ( I know, hard to believe eh??). But, I can actually see that I have no control over what has already happened and I have no control over what happens next. Usually a scary concept...to think you have NO control over something! Really, it is silly to think we are ever in control over alot of things we stress over!
But, God brings us to certain places in our lives for a reason and then we FREAK out and say "I can't handle this...what if?????"
God must sometimes sit there and shake His head and say "No kidding you can't handle it, relax and realize, that I CAN!!!"
What a waste of time worrying is..it is like a rocking chair...gives you something to do, but you get NOWHERE!!!
When you sit back and look at the situation you find yourself in, ask yourself...what is the worst thing that can happen? Will I DIE from this??.....in all likelihood, NO! Can I do anything about my situation? If you can, great! Do something and move on! But if not, LET IT GO and give it over to the Lord and MOVE ON!!! You know, the Lord can handle a whole lot more than you give Him credit for ;)
The Lord has taken you this far and He isn't out to harm you...so why not ASK Him for help and then LEAVE IT WITH HIM!!!
All this sounds soooo easy, but I know I held onto stuff way longer than I should have...like I sat around with my fingers in my ears, nodding like I understood and then ran around like a chicken with her head cut off! But...I did catch on :) And it is daily that I have to remind myself of this realization.
Remember I had mentioned about being tested...well...I may have failed my teacher's cert. but I passed this test, and I feel pretty darn good!! And anyhow...there is always next time :)


"...Your Father knows what you need before you ask him..." Matthew 6:8
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27

I fell off the face of the earth

Well, I trust that all are well.

I have a question. Are we to forgive EVERYBODY??? I mean, are there certain things that just seem impossible to forgive?? And if we forgive, can we really ever forget??? Can you love someone if you hurt them?
Seriously, sometimes don't you just get tired because you don't see God working in the ways that you keep praying about?? Why do some people see the need to be saved and others couldn't be bothered???? You sit there and ask yourself, why do people choose (including myself) to repeat the same stupid mistakes again and again...when the answer is so obvious??
The Lord is waiting to take that misery away from you, you just need to ask and believe that He can do it! The Lord will take you to your knees until you are ready to surrender to Him...but He does it out of love. And the Lord wants to give you more than you could ever hope for..but we repeatedly choose ourselves before him.
And to really answer the question about love?? We can only ever know love when we know who first loved us! He gave up His best (His only son) for us..and we don't deserve it!! AND to top it off, we repeatedly do things to hurt Him...but he forgives AND forgets! The Lord keeps no records of wrongs when we truly REPENT (totally turn away and are horrified by our actions and WANT to CHANGE!!) THAT IS LOVE!!!!

I came across this, and I thought I would like to share it...
"I believe Jesus tries to get us to sow a good seed by making a statement that He isfirst in our lives. I believe if we do that, we will receive more than we give up. I am tested in this way all the time.
There have been many times when God has asked me to give my last, my only and my all. But every time I have done so, I have ended up better off than I was before.
Offer up your best to God today, and you will see His character, that He is El-Shaddai - the God of more than enough."

Plant Purposefully

I came across this and I thought immediately of Shawn and the situation with his blog.

Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside). [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap. Galatians 6:7

"For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit, will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:8

At what point do you decide that witnessing to someone isn't worth while??? When they say they will tattoo a pentagram on their heart or urinate on a bible or perhaps punch a child in the head?? Well these are all things that someone has said in response to Shawn's attempts to share the gospel with him.
Someone else had responded (as stating they were a Christian) that words such as salvation were not important to be sharing with a non-believer. I wonder that person considers a Christian to be?? The light and love of the Lord should shine through you that people are drawn to it..but it is like this...we as Christians have a cure (salvation) to a disease (sin) from which the world is quickly dying. Why sit on the cure??? It isn't our job to "save" people, the Lord does that...but we do need to tell people where they can find the cure to their disease, and let them make their own choice from there.
If you had a child or someone you dearly loved and they were dying and you knew you could help them find a cure, wouldn't you want to help them?? Why wouldn't the Lord, who loves each one of us so wonderfully, want to save His own children???